Friday, May 20, 2011

Short. Sweet.

At its heftiest, my WIP came in at 128,119 words. Most middle grade novels run 40-60,000. For the Math Phobics and Lazyheads, Once We Were Bears clocked in two to three times over standard length.

So, yup, I've been working on paring mine down. First I deleted peripherial characters, (RIP FiveLeg, you sweet, mutant frog.) I slashed scenes better ones had parallel purposes. I excised, I truncated, I thinned. I clipped, sheared, mowed...

Oops, what I really I meant to say is: I cut.

And then I gave the whole, slightly trimmer beast to the Scribblerati, who made fantastic suggestions. And then...
Yes, and then I added.

So now I'm back to subtracting. I thought I had all the fluff out last time around. I was wrong; still finding lots of superfluous words and sentences. (No more scenes or chapters tho'.)

Apparently, I love the word "that." I use it all the time, unnecessarily.

Beryl thought that she'd rescued Fiveleg from the poisoned pool.
Beryl thought she'd rescued Fiveleg from the poisoned pool.

Today's word count: 110,933.
That's 17, 186 already gone.

Back to the scissors.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Grabbing Your Reader’s Attention: Your First Line

Not long ago I entered the first page of my novel, BLACKHEART, in a “One Page” contest. The rules were simple: submit the first page of your manuscript (short story, novel, poem, whatever)—and I did exactly that. When contest winners for each category were announced I was somewhat crestfallen that the winner was not me. Dang. I thought my entry was pretty strong—although that’s probably what everyone else thought about their entries, too.

But really, in the first page of my book I introduce my main character(s) and put them in a creepy situation where somebody is going to end up dead by the end of the scene. There are bodies, lots of blood, SWAT, FBI and a scarred-up, mean, hulking son of bitch wielding a shotgun. I thought some of that might grab the judges’ attention. Apparently not. Back to the drawing board.

The winning entry in this contest for the genre fiction category was a piece about an imp dangling his feet in a lava pit. Written nicely enough and it stood out. Nobody else had an imp main character. The winner of another category had a lot of nudity that I’m sure would cause many a reader to read on. All good stuff, and I applaud the contest winners, but…

Entering this contest made me realize a few things:

  • Grabbing your readers’ attention on page 1 is critical.
  • More importantly, grabbing their attention on line 1 might matter even more.
  • On a personal note, I am revisiting my novel’s page 1 to see what can be improved on.
  • We live in a time of short attention spans. The Internet is rewiring our brains, we spend hours in front of computers, TV and video games, we’re busy, distracted, running about with too many things on our minds, and I need only point to Twitter as an example of how much time and space you get to try to capture someone’s attention. About a line’s worth of text.

So page 1 had better count. Scratch that—Line 1. Make it good. Make it sing. Make it memorable.

I’d like to say I’m better than that--that I’ll give any book 100 pages before I consider giving up on it, set it aside. (I know several people that use this rule when they start reading a book.) But the truth is when I shop for books in a bookstore (how old fashioned of me, I know) I pick up a book that catches my attention (from the title and cover—talk about shallow!) and turn to page one and start reading, or maybe even a random page elsewhere in the book. If I like the voice, the craft, if there is a hook that catches me, I may buy that book. But if after reading a few paragraphs or less I most likely will put it back if it hasn’t grabbed me.

Do first lines matter to literary agents? To quote one agent (who shall remain nameless, sorry agent) from Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, & Literary Agents:

Q: What’s the most effective ways for writers to grab your attention?

A: For fiction: Have a great first line that provides an immediate insight into your protagonist.

Good advice.

So just for fun, here are the first lines of some novels that you may have read or heard of (or perhaps, not). I’m curious, which of these entries makes you want to read more? Which of them stands out? Which of them makes you want to go get that book and find out what happens next? If you’re a writer, feel free to comment with your own first line. I’d like to hear it. Is it a line that will make me want to read more and not put it down?

Some Great (or are they?) First Lines

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." --Tolkien, The Hobbit

"Many years later, as he stood facing the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, 100 Years of Solitude

“Where's Papa going with that axe?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. --E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

“It was a dark and stormy night.” --Snoopy or Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

"Death was driving an emerald-green Lexus." -- Dean Koontz, Winter Moon

"Marley was dead: to begin with." -- Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold." -- Hunter Thompson, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

"First of all it was October, a good month for boys." --Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

"On the fifteenth of May, in the jungle of Nool, In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool" --Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears A Who

"When Augustus came out on the porch the blue pigs were eating a rattlesnake - not a very big one." --Lonesome Dove

“To burn down a farm house do the following: apply plenty of kerosene or lawn mower gas or rubbing alcohol or whatever other type of accelerant you have on hand; apply your lighter, stand back and wait for the screams.” --Mark Teats, Sunlight

"My name is Odd Thomas, through the years in this age when fame is the altar at which most people worship, I am not sure why you should care who I am or that I exist." -- Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“I am the vampire Lestat.” --Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat

“I always get the shakes before a jump.” --Heinlein, Starship Troopers

“At a village of La Mancha, whose name I do not wish to remember, there lived a little while ago one of those gentlemen who are wont to keep a lance in the rack, an old buckler, a lean horse, and a swift greyhound.” --de Cervantes, Don Quixote

“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.” --Stephen King, The Dark Tower:

"Rage — Goddess, sing the rage of Peleus’ son Achilles." --The Iliad by Homer

“All this happened, more or less.” --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Slaughter House Five

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” --Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

“Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen it's true face.” --Watchmen, Alan Moore

"Jack Torrance thought: Officious little prick." --Stephen King, The Shining

"In the week before their departure to Arrakis, when all the final scurrying about had reached a nearly unbearable frenzy, and old crone came to visit the mother of the boy, Paul." --Dune by Frank Herbert

"I’ve watched through his eyes, I’ve listened through his ears, and I tell you he’s the one." --Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

“When he woke in the woods in the dark and the night he’d reach out to touch the child sleeping beside him.” --McCarthy, The Road

Lots more great first lines here:

Happy Writing.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Konrath & Eisler

For those of you who missed this a few weeks back, Barry Eisler turned down a half million dollar advance to self-publish. Why? Because he thought he could make more money on his own. There more to it than that, of course, but that's the basics.

Now, those of you who are loyal readers of this blog know that I am a big self-publishing fan, but even I was blown away by this development.

I've often wondered where I would draw the line between traditional and self-publishing. At this point it's a foregone conclusion that I would turn down the standard 5-10K advance for a genre first-time author. But what if they offered me more than that? If I'm honest with myself, I don't think I would have turned away a half-million. But that was before I read this. Now I'm not so sure.

Go ahead and check out that link. It's the full 13,000+ word discussion between Joe Konrath and Barry Eisler. Both are well established legacy authors. There is some fascinating stuff in there (and a bit of silly fluff as well).

So, loyal reader, how much would a publishing house have to offer you to buy the rights to your book?